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Your Mom's House

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more dog biscuit making! [Sep. 23rd, 2007|06:53 pm]
Your Mom's House

knittinggoddess
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Bonsai: Now remember Gwen, when you're deciding whose throat to maul in the middle of the night, just think: who cooks for you?
Me: That's right. I know Garth is your daddy and you love him, but--
Bonsai: --But he's a man, so he's hopeless in the kitchen.
Gwen: *is enthusiastic*
Bonsai: That's not fair. He's a better cook than I am.
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(no subject) [Sep. 20th, 2007|11:08 pm]
Your Mom's House

knittinggoddess
Me: I kinda want to go as butch as possible to work tomorrow, just to fuck with the kid who thought I was a boy.
Garth: *puts a Corona hat on my head* Oh wait, you can't wear that.
Me: Can I wear your AMR hat?
Garth: No. But there might be an ACE bandage in the first aid kit.
Me: No dice.
Garth: Then there's only one solution left. A sock.
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parenting, YMH style [Sep. 19th, 2007|01:28 pm]
Your Mom's House

knittinggoddess
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Garth: you really did feed her this morning?
Me: I just figured you had forgotten to refill the Tupperware last night [so her fancy frozen raw food could defrost overnight]
Garth: Gwen! No dinner for you tonight.
Me: She says, "Bonsai says I'm skinny!"
Garth: Your butt looks big! You'll never fit into your prom dress if you keep this up. Dog, you need to go throw up now. ...They're never going to let me have children.
Me: Not if I show them the list I'm keeping.
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(no subject) [Sep. 15th, 2007|10:36 pm]
Your Mom's House

knittinggoddess
scazon, ibnfirnas and I are discussing various trans-related issues.
ibnfirnas: A gay man trying to pass as a woman for a year would be viewed as a rapist or something.
Me: Yeah, I can't go into a women's bathroom without fearing, totally.
scazon: Well, I can't go into a men's bathroom without worrying that the guy in the stall next to me is tapping his foot...

[The above, with the exception of the first line, is all sarcastic. Duh.]
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(no subject) [Sep. 15th, 2007|05:50 pm]
Your Mom's House

knittinggoddess
Garth: Metroid on the Wii!
Me: What's Metroid?
Garth, fake sobs: I want a divorce.
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text message conversation from last night [Sep. 2nd, 2007|04:16 pm]
Your Mom's House

knittinggoddess
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Me: I'm going to take some phenylephedrin and try to sleep before I get too loopy. It's probably for the best that the house is empty, though I can't see Noah or Bonz really causing havoc at my expense...that much.

G: Hee! Don't do anything to the dog!

Me: She'd just move and look disgruntled. Still, I was thinking of dyeing her eyebrows...or painting her claws.
moreCollapse )
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(no subject) [Aug. 27th, 2007|08:57 pm]
Your Mom's House

knittinggoddess
Bonz and Garth are going to watch the lunar eclipse, but first, we all are going out for a beer. (I have to be home early because I have to get up before 6am tomorrow.)

Bonz: Ok, we can go someplace, bring you home and then Garth and I can go out drinking again. Because Garth and I are Moon Sisters.
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(no subject) [Aug. 27th, 2007|03:13 pm]
Your Mom's House

mustela
messiah_complex: Avocados are what all food would taste like if there was God.

messiah_complex: ... and now I'm going to Hell.
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(no subject) [Aug. 16th, 2007|08:39 pm]
Your Mom's House

knittinggoddess
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I made dog biscuits (yeast, three kinds of flour, wheat germ, dried parsley and veggie broth).
Bonsai, upon tasting one: ...I wouldn't shake for them, but they're not bad for Civil War food.

The dog looooooooooooooves them, for the record.

Bonsai, to Gwen: Did you have enough biscuits? We could feed you raw bacon.
Me: No.
Bonsai, to Gwen: I could say stuff like that to make Jess freak out.
Me: I'm not freaking out.
Bonsai, to Gwen: We could feed you raw bacon on the roof!
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(no subject) [Aug. 13th, 2007|10:22 pm]
Your Mom's House

knittinggoddess
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Me: Red Robin has a Bonsai Burger.
Bonsai: Really? What's on it?
Me: I don't know; it was just an ad.
Bonsai: if i eat a bonsai burger does it make me a cannibal or just a really bad vegetarian?
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